Sunday, November 26, 2006

K, so.
Since when have I become the person in my family that either hears about things last? Or gets unloaded with all the bullshit on.
Yesterday my aunt sounded like she was "forced out" of being at my brothers and sister-in-laws reception at her parents yesterday, siting the flu as an excuse. Which is utter bullshit, as she and my grandmother get the shots as soon as possible. So why did she have to call MY cellphone and tell ME in so few words? WHY? It pissed me off, and had I gotten her message earlier, it would have ruined my time at the party. Tim saw the look on my face after seeing it, didn't say anything. I didn't want to ruin his night for him. Why pull the attention to herself like that? WHY?
I refuse to start the process of becomming the pillar of the family. Refuse. Maybe if some crazy fool is insane enough to ask me and I have kids, MAYBE I'll be the pillar then. MAYBE. But they think they can go from not telling me information one minute, to being brats the minute, to telling me how I should live my life, and choose the course of action I can take for everything? They've another thing coming to them.
I don't get my family. I don't get why they just don't tell each other what the hell is wrong. I was talking with my sister-in-law yesterday about it while I was helping getting the party ready with her, and she said that my brother explained the family to the point where we keep things in, and don't get emotional over things. And it's true. It can be cold sometimes. I see it when I'm talking to my father when I'm frustrated with my schooling, or anything that is a touchy subject. My grandmother and aunt keep things to themselves, but act passive agressively like that display on example mentioned earlier. Sure we all show our emotions differently, but at least my brother, sister-in-law, and I see the damage it creates when we just stay cold and not say a damn thing.
My sister will always keep to herself, if she says anything, it's to my brother, as they're the closer of the two. She did at one point, coming out to my father, being true to herself and her choices. He berated her and did not accept her. At first. He does accept her now, but with his upbringing being the way it was, should she have expected any less than what she got? I don't agree that dad had a right to scream at her for her choice in sexuality, but it severed their ties for a long time. She forgot that he was raised in a house where keeping up appearances and being proper were key. Who cares if what someone said hurt your feelings, it was a matter of not making a scene, even if it was private. I know of a few fights, but those were huge. And I guess that's what was keeping me from letting my brother listen to my voicemail message from my aunt yesterday. I didn't want people fighting.
Sure, it might create a bigger fight later on, but it was my brother and his new wife's day to shine, to be happy and with their new families. So even if I had to get that voicemail, I'm glad the newlyweds had their day go off without too much drama.

Monday, November 20, 2006


So I've started a new blog.
All behold the new blog. Smell that? That's new blog smell. Similar to new car smell. BUT BLOGWORTHY!
K, enough of that.
Later <3